Monday, September 10, 2012

Goldier than a gold on gold night

If you've been reading this blog over the years, you should know by now that I'm Goldy™, which is a term recently coined (with a gold coin) by the powers of earth, fire, water, wind, and heart, to define my elite status across multiple award programs.

Recently, I achieved Gold status with Starwood Preferred, a hotel chain that includes the Westin, Sheraton, and others. It was much easier to achieve SPG Gold than it was to achieve Hilton Honors VIP Gold, but I seriously enjoy the fact that until 2013, I will be Gold with both programs. Throw in my Hertz Gold Five Star status and you've got GOLDY™.

Starwood recently sent me a Gold welcome packet that ingolded™ (instead of the word 'included', which I no longer have to use) some intriguing gifts and nicely printed materials.


On the right is the letter telling me how excellent I am, with my new Gold card glued to the top. The letter, before it even says "Dear Aaron", states the undeniably true statement "You're golden". That is correct, piece of paper that came in the mail. How did you know?

On the top left is a nicely printed booklet containing no new information. All the information in that booklet is available on the website, but you know, as a Goldy™, I may not have time to use the internet to seek out information. The bottom left is my favorite gift. Its a piece of paper with four tickets with perforated edges that can be removed and used. What are they for? They're "Thank You" tickets that I am supposed to give to employes for outstanding service.........

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I'm sorry


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WHAT? Why are you sending this to me? Why is the gold packet filled with nearly useless yet thick pieces of paper (that aren't made of actual gold)? I know that it surely can't be filler material to make me feel special without actually providing anything to make me feel special about. Thats not how you treat golden Goldys™. Why do I need to hand these to employees? Why do I only get four of them? After four, have I reached the maximum amount of awesome service I can receive? Do you really expect me to remember to carry these around and hand them out? Wouldn't it be better for everyone if I could just compliment them through e-mail or on a website form instead of literally limiting the number of compliments I can dole out? What if a staff member provides me excellent service over the phone? Am I supposed to use a mechanical photo facsimile machine?

Some free drink tickets or even a hand drawn picture of the Large Hadron Collider would have been more relevant to my Gold Status. Thank me, not yourselves!!!!

Enjoy.

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