Friday, March 30, 2012

Much better

Gentlefolk, I have recently learned that every state in this union (except New Jersey) has redeeming qualities. I have spent many moons recently, describing how crappy hotels in Miami are, applying information gleamed from highly specific datum points to larger general areas in an extraordinarily scientific approach known as PSEUDOSCIENCE™. That is what many scientists have called my methods anyway.

I recently stayed at the Bahia Mar Double Tree in Fort Lauderdale beach, and I have to say that I was very impressed. That wasn't so hard Florida, was it? Tell me! I don't care that you're a state and are therefor inanimate! My room had nice carpets, no stains, a balcony, space, a working air conditioner, a nice place for me to sit and do some ultrawork™, no loud noises, a wonderful pool, dedicated beach access, great restaurants in walking distance, no spring breakers in my face, and the best part... Hilton Honors points!

Holy jam on toast people, this place redeemed all of Florida for everything ever, even for the 2000 Presidential "election". I suppose it wasn't that it was such an unusually amazing hotel, just that it was so much more efficacious to important business travelers than South Beach.

The whole area was right next to one of the largest collection of private yachts I've ever seen. I even saw a giant boat that was carrying other yachts on it! It was a boat for boats. I've never seen that before. Combine that with all of the 50 something trophy wives with more plastic surgery than is probably legal, and you got yourself a fascinating cultural hamlet that I'd recommend to almost no one!



  1. Excellent post as usual - however, you lose all points and respect for not providing a picture of the "boat for boats". I had to waste seconds finding this:

  2. Thats it! I wish I had taken a picture, I have to be better at that. Sometimes I get ultralazy™