Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Secret Rooms

Secrets are the best part of life. I would tell you why if I could, but I can't.... BECAUSE ITS A SECRET. Every institution keeps secrets (except the U.S. government who is as transparent as a baby jellyfish). Take Google for example, they keep their search algorithms a secret, even though its NOT a secret that they exist. Or, take Bank of America for example; they keep secret the fact that they think they're entitled to more money than you have. Or take the company I work for, they keep secret how awesome I am from EVERYONE.

Well, just like any institution, the Hampton Inn at Louisville keeps a secret. Hampton Inns are owned by the Hilton group, who in turn, offer a loyalty program called Hilton Honors, of which I am a VIP Gold (middle tier). Normally, at a Hilton branded hotel (not a Hampton Inn, Hilton Garden Inn, or Embassy Suites) I am entitled to an upgrade to a better room. And I usually get it. But that upgrade is predicated on there actually being a better room to offer. Hampton Inns have always been unique in the sense that they've really got nothing to offer VIP Gold members. Every guest at a Hampton Inn is entitled to free internet, free breakfast, and a clean comfortable room. But Hampton Inn doesn't have anything more than that. Especially at the Louisville Hampton Inn, because all their rooms are the same.

Or so I thought.


What I am about to tell you so secret that I have to actually question my own motives in being so forthcoming.

Self: I question your motives
NegaSelf: I question your inquiry
Self:......... you win again negaself
NegaSelf: Or do I?
Self: Wait.... I win?
Negaself: Nope
Self: Yup
Negaself: High five
Self: High five

It seems that I have convinced myself to spill the beans:

There IS a bigger room at the Hampton Inn Louisville. And for reasons I can't explain, I was given it. I must have stayed at that hotel 20 times this year, and not only didn't I ever ever get this room (until last week), but I hadn't even known it existed. Behold its glory:

It was massive. Pictures never do size justice. Only words. Incredibly awesome words (such as mine).

The room was designed for the handicapped, and being a giant muscular awesomeguy™ CAN handicap you in the sense that everything in life is just too damn easy.


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