Friday, July 8, 2011

4 gears of fury

I arrived at the Los Angeles Xport (that's what the X stands for in LAX, I'm sure of it, I asked a bunch of scientists) at some point in the afternoon. It was foggy and cold, or FOLD™. Oh... umm.. wait... I guess FOLD™ could be misconstrued as to mean something unrelated to the weather... how about COGGY™. Yeah, COGGY™.

I have completely forgotten what I was talking about.

OH yeah. Like most large airports, the rental car facilities for LAX are off site, and require a shuttle ride. I couldn't remember exactly what kind of car I rented from Hertz before the trip, but I damn well know that it wasn't the awesome car I ended up getting. Since I am a Gold Member Five Star, I am supposed to be guaranteed an upgrade, but that always comes with an asterisk that says something like "cannot guarantee the guarantee.. in fact, you probably won't be upgraded - sincerely, Hertz". Well, this time, when I walked straight to my car, I discovered that it was a Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder, which is a convertible little roadster (definitely not the car I reserved). Take a look:

After the fog cleared up, I dropped the top (which took me 20 minutes to figure out how to do), and discovered what it was truly like to own a convertible in Los Angeles. My diagnosis? AWESOME. When the weather is nice (which it always is in California, except for a little COGGYNESS™), there is nothing more fun than blasting down highway 1 with the top dropped in a small roadster that has a loud throaty engine and does 0-60 in less than 7 seconds.

This is how I arrived at the Embassy Suites hotel LAX North. Which, unfortunately, was only 20 yards from the Hertz facility. But it was a fast, exhilarating 20 yards I'll tell you what! The Embassy Suites has always been a strange hotel to me. All the rooms are enormous, and the facilities try very hard to make you feel like you are in a luxurious hotel. But there is something about the materials used on the interior, and the styling as well, that gives you the impression that its cheap. And it is, its cheap luxury. But its more than I needed. Like I said, the rooms were enormous.

And I do mean rooms with an 's'. My suite had multiple... rooms. ROOMS. I'm getting sick of the word rooms. As you can see, it was plenty fine. I don't usually spend a lot of time at whatever hotel I'm staying at so a lot of the space is wasted, but I don't give a crap. Its very nice to step foot into a large hotel room after a long flight and run laps. The breakfast in the mornings was fantastic, and it was free! The parking was expensive, and I can't imagine getting a car much larger than say... a Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder in their parking garage. The entrance ramp felt no bigger than the entrance to the Chauvet Cave in southern France (I forgot so many of my dreams in that cave). 

Embassy suites is owned by the Hilton group, so I still got Hilton Honors points for staying there, and my Hilton Gold VIP status was applicable. At this particular hotel, the Gold Status took the form of free internet and a bottle of water in my room. 



  1. "Its very nice to step foot into a large hotel room after a long flight and run laps."

    Brilliant! Laughed out loud at this one.

  2. You've got a long legal battle on your hands: