Thursday, June 2, 2011


I am not sure where the TSA finds their recruits, but they are clearly EXTREMELY selective. TSA "officers" not only show great enthusiasm for their job, but they also appear to be highly educated, very sophisticated and consistent across all airports.

In front of me in line at LaGuardia last week was a women, who didn't' speak English and also had no form of photo identification. The TSA officer, instead of holding up the line and compromising security, let the woman through indicating to her that she should get a government issued ID. Excellent work TSA, I'm very impressed. If I ever forget my photo ID, I know which airport will let me through!

Arriving at the Air Canada terminal (which I previously had no idea existed), I was pleased to see that there was indeed a priority line for elites. The terminal for this particular airline at LaGuardia was located at the back of terminal B in a dimly lit room with no windows. The room was decorated by Air Canada and featured several television monitors loudly playing CNN. I felt like I was in the 80's for some reason. Probably because that waiting area had been built in the 80's. Stupid 80's... WHY ARE YOU SO CRAPPY!

Anyway, I was thrilled when the flight began to board because my elite status let me board the plane FIRST!!. They lumped Star Gold and other elite members in with the first class passengers in boarding priority, which means I was the first passenger on the plane! I LOVE THAT. I had so much overhead bin space to choose from. Once I sat down, I watched the plane slowly fill with riff raff, feeling tiny prangs of guilt when there was no over head bin space for their poor people luggage.

The airplane was clean and modern. Every seat featured a large flat screen display with a very wide range of movies, television, games, and music to select from. I was impressed, especially since it was all free.

I didn't have an exit row or get upgraded to first class, but for some reason it wasn't so bad. Maybe because it was only an hour long flight, or because I was reading a particularly excellent book, but I really had no complaints.

Landing at the Toronto Pearson's airport was relatively pleasant. I strolled through passport control and customs without issue, caught a cab immediately and was at my hotel in about 40 minutes. Sure it was raining outside, not EVERYTHING can be perfect! Actually, I retract that previous statement... one day, I will be wealthy enough that everything WILL be perfect... for me... and that is all that really matters in life, right? Money.


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