Wednesday, June 1, 2011

City by the lake

Canada is such an interesting place. While I was there, I punched a guy in his face because I thought he had incorrect ideas, and HE apologized to ME! That... actually is the way it should always be. If I punch YOU in the face, its YOUR fault. ULTRA-ALWAYS™!

I had to go to Toronto last week for a conference about face-punching so I checked out what my options were in terms of airports. Interestingly enough, Toronto has two airports! One of them is a normal international airport, where flights from France, Japan, England, America, other places in Canada etc. come in which is called Pearson's airport (YYZ). Like most airports, its not anywhere near downtown Toronto. Its about a 30 minute drive outside of the city. But the other airport is this weird, smaller airport that is actually on an island right next to downtown Toronto. Its called Billy Bishop Toronto City Airport (YTZ). The only way to get to and from that airport (which is on Toronto island, the most uniquely and cleverly named island of all time) is by a boat. However, if you are staying in a hotel in downtown Toronto, this airport would allow you to fly into town, and get to your hotel without ever hopping into a cab or renting a car! It reminds me of some other city I know of where you can get to and from the airports without utilizing combustion engine motorized horseless carriages... hmm....

Anyway, as you know, I'm Star Alliance Gold, so I'll be damned if I'm going to fly some other airline, especially internationally. So I had two choices, fly from LaGuardia and land in Pearsons, or fly from Newark and land at Billy Bob (or whatever). This is what scientists call an ULTRACONUNDRUM™ because it involves variables that are both irritating and... varied. I live right next to LaGuardia, but very far from Newark. However, my hotel was close to Billy's airport, and pretty far from Pearson's.

I decided to take LaGuardia to Pearson's and avoid both sea travel and New Jersey travel. A double win as far as I am concerned. The sea is dangerous, and New Jersey is...... New Jersey.

Air Canada was my only option in terms of an airline, but fortunately it was a Star Alliance carrier.

Tune in next time to hear how a short fat women who didn't speak English infiltrated the TSA's security zone, and what flying on a Canadian airline is like.


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