Thursday, May 19, 2011

Thanks... wait, what?

I got a vague e-mail today from United Airlines. Allow me to sum up what it said: Dear Aaron, United has merged with Continental so that you can enjoy traveling. There are so many awesome benefits to this merger, such as being able to book tickets for a trip BEFORE you even go on the trip. Enjoy sitting in seats while you're flying? Now United offers fully functional seats on all of its airplanes, complete with arm rests AND tray tables. And because we value you so much as a frequent flier, we are now expanding our elite program to maximize the bonus potential and excellence you experience. Things are totally different now, and we think you'll like it.

Here are some actual excerpts:

Since we announced the merger of United and Continental, we've made great strides integrating our operations, products and services. Today we're pleased to announce a number of changes to help speed you through the airport and make planning and booking travel even easier.

You deserve special treatment. Now it has a new name: Premier Access.

Premier Access is the new name of our priority airport services. You enjoy these benefits already — now they have a new name and look.

We've also made some changes to the boarding process. Listen for boarding instructions when you arrive at the gate.

Travel planning and flight check-in are now more convenient.

Whether you are booking a flight, assigning yourself a seat, or simply checking flight status for United or Continental, you can now use either website ( or

Some Mileage Plus Upgrade Award and Star Alliance™ Upgrade Award amounts will increase.

Thanks guys, I was really looking forward to being confused about my choices. Am I still premier executive? Do I still board before zone 1 but after global services and 1k? What if there were concrete answers instead of confusing questions? I feel like United is asking me a question: Enjoy additional mileage plus benefits? ........... What? That isn't helpful United, it doesn't even make sense.


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