Monday, May 2, 2011

Gold makes everything better

Gold really does make everything better. Turn regular coins into gold coins by simply constructing them out of gold. Gold earrings, gold bracelets, gold telephones, gold silver, gold spaghetti... everything is better with gold. Especially gold status.

I've often complained that the primary problem with flying into LAX is renting a car at Hertz. They sport some of the longest and most painful lines I've ever seen. Because of my bad experience a long time ago, I started flying into Burbank instead. Sure there were no connecting flights, but I didn't care. Their Hertz facility is amazing. You take three steps out of the gate and you are there. They feature no lines, no waiting, and quite frankly, a friendlier staff. Now that I am Hertz Gold Five Star, I wanted to give LAX another chance since flying direct saves time, money, and bowel discomfort.

So when I arrived at LAX, I walked over to the rental car shuttle area, caught the Hertz shuttle, and rode it to their facility. So far, I've spent 20 minutes from the moment I gloriously step foot in the terminal to the moment the rental car bus arrived on Hertz's property. Before, at this point, I would have a line longer than the distance from between the Earth and the Sun to look forward to. But since I was gold, they dropped me off at a special gold club only area, and took the non-gold club suckfests™ to their normal area where the lines are. I skipped off the bus, looked at the electronic board, saw my name, saw the parking spot my car was at, walked to it, got in, pumped up the jams, and drove out of there IN ULTRASTYLE™.

It was brilliant! So quick. No line, no hassle. It is so worth it to be gold with Hertz, especially if you fly into LAX.

What else can I say? Check out the car they gave me!

Nahh I'm just kidding. That's a Ford GT I saw in a parking lot. The car they gave me was a Toyota Camery of some kind. It was fine for what I needed, which was a machine that was capable of sitting in constant LA traffic on the 405.

I was in traffic because I stayed at a hotel north of where I was to be each morning, which was foolish. Especially since my hotel was closer to the Burbank area. So, it still might have been faster and easier for me to fly into Burbank, despite all the time saved not waiting in line at Hertz because of all the traffic I had to sit in.

Oh well. Guess I'll just go back in ULTRATIME™ and do it over. SSsSSSssshhhhhhwwwwoooooopppppppp (thats the sound my time machine makes) (also, ultratime™ is similar to regular time, only better... and only I experience it).


1 comment:

  1. What kind of gold Aaron? :) Bet you can guess who wrote this...