Thursday, May 5, 2011

ampton Inn

The great thing about traffic is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. There is literally no redeeming quality to traffic. Its not relaxing, it doesn't give you time to think (except about how much your life sucks), nor is it easy on your car.

So imagine what my mood was like when I was cruising north on the 405 at about -4mph only to arrive at what appeared to be the most rundown Hampton Inn I've ever seen. I pulled up while it was getting dark so I could see that the 'H' and a few other letters on the giant Hampton Inn neon sign were flickering on and off.

I sighed and pulled into the parking lot. "I am only here for two nights" I gloriously thought to myself.

It was a different story inside. The lobby was excellent, clean, new-smelling... nothing like the disturbingly ghetto-looking outside. I would've taken a picture of the sign but because of the nature and frequency of the flicker, the camera would not have been able to capture the true dingyness™ of the appearance because it would only catch the sign when it was lit properly. But my description is amazing and you can picture it fully. I know you can.

I was pleasantly surprised at the size of my room.

These pictures don't do it justice. It was enormous, and therefore suited to my tastes as an important and wealthy businessman. (Half of the qualifiers in the previous statement is true, can you tell which half)? I had plenty of room to pretend that I was an important and wealthy businessman..... I mean....uhhhhh..... ULTRADISTRACTION™


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