Thursday, April 28, 2011

I paid the whore

So far, this is my wife's favorite post. Please allow me to clarify my deliberately provocative title. Business class on United's Premium Service is a whore. Think about it.

Have you thought about it? Good. Then I don't need to explain.

Fine, I'll explain. But later... first, a haiku about flying:

I win at flying.
Isn't that intriguing? Yes.
I answered for you.

How about an ultrahaiku™?

An even lower class for
The ultrapoor™, orphans, and commies
there should be on all airlines.

Ok, now an explanation:

United Premium Service is the only... service... that ignores the unlimited domestic upgrade policy. However, it is the only service that allows you to pay for an upgrade with miles and only miles (no cash co-pay). So, on the one hand, its not THAT difficult to get an upgrade, you just have to pay for it. But, the downside is that you DO have the option of getting to the same destination, on the same airline, in an upgraded cabin, WITHOUT paying for it. Its just much more difficult. Paying for it, as we all know, is easier, but also less satisfying knowing that you could, if you tried, get it for free.

So, for 15,000 miles, I was put on the upgrade wait list. Now, as I have explained thousands of times before, the United P.S. flights feature a three cabin airplane, whereas all other domestic flights are two. The business class on the P.S. flights has many more amenities than normal first class on other flights, and you're also on the flight for much longer (in this case, I was flying from JFK to LAX). So, it is worth it... to some extent. You don't need me to remind you of how much more wonderful not-economy is than economy. Just read MY ENTIRE BLOG if you are unsure.

Behold, my glorious seat:


Oh, and the glorious gourmet menu:


15,000 miles for 6 and a half hours of not being squeezed into a seat designed for midgets... so worth the moneymiles™. This is the second time that I was 1st on the upgrade list for this particular service. I do believe that is because of the Premier Executive status that I ultrahave™. There were 6 people on the list, in total, and only 2 available seats in business class. So if you aren't elite, don't expect an upgrade so easily on this service anymore (for some reason, there used to be much less upgrade requests, probably because they flew more often each day than they do now... thanks Libya). The good news is that you get your 15k miles refunded if you don't get upgraded, and you also accrue whatever miles you were meant to accrue from flying that route. So, you subtract that from what you've paid and you have your net miles for that trip, which will still be negative, but at least won't be negative 15 thousand.

ENJOY.

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