As you all know, I have Hertz Five Star Gold Status, which is one step above Gold Status, which is one step above nothing, which is one step below the President's Circle (which is the best). So, I have the penultimate status. Wouldn't you ultra-assume™ that that meant Hertz would kiss your ass each time you rent a car? I did.
I ASSUMED INCORRECTLY.
My wife and I arrived at SFO and headed for the Hertz rental car area, which is a short 45 minute train ride away. (That is an exaggeration, it is more like 30 minutes away). Once I arrived, I proceeded to the special Gold Club members only section where they put your name up on the board and a lot number, so all you have to do is proceed directly to your car. When I rented the car initially, I booked the cheapest, smallest car they had. After all, this is my vacation so I'm paying for it all. No company expense account for this trip. But since I obtain superior status with Hertz, I figured I'd get a nice upgrade to a Mercedes CL550, BMW M5, AUDI S8, or a Porsche GT3.
So, imagine my excitement when I saw that there were 3 plus signs next to my name on the Gold board, instead of a simple lot number. "Yes!" I thought, "I get the car that is so amazing that they can't park it in a regular lot. This car requires a lot that is denoted by a special, arithmetic symbol".
ULTRA-WRONG™. The three pluses means that you are a newbie to Gold Club and you have to check into the special Gold Club desk first. So I did. The woman there told me I rented a Chevy Aveo (the smallest car they have) and that I should have a bigger car. I told her she was right, and that I was expecting a free, complimentary upgrade.
I got it alright. I got upgraded to a Nissan Versa.
Yeah. Check that out. 0-60mph in 20 minutes.
The lady at the counter tried to get me to upgrade even further by spending a mere $20 extra... per day. I literally laughed at her saying that since I was renting for 7 days, that would cost me $140 extra!
I punched her in the face and took the keys to the Versa. Oh well, at least it wasn't an Aveo.