Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A letter to me

A personal touch is always nice. Everybody prefers to be punched in the face directly by me instead of a cohort or a freelancer. Its because its a personal touch. I walk up to you, directly, and reshape your face with my glorious fist.

Before my stay at the illustrious Hilton Orlando, I was sent an e-mail from the executive lounge agent of the hotel inviting me to check in to my room above the riff raff. Behold:

Dear Mr. Incredibly Tall Glorious King (sic),

Welcome to the Hilton Orlando! On behalf of the Hilton Orlando Executive Lounge Team; we would like to welcome you to the Executive Lounge.

As a loyal guest at the Hilton Orlando, we would like to offer you the opportunity to check-in at the Executive Lounge. Check in time is 3:00pm and check out is at 11:00am. This will expedite your arrival process, allowing you to bypass the Front Desk. We will have your room pre-assigned prior to your arrival. Your reservation is set for two nights, arriving on December 7, 2010 and departing on December 9, 2010 in a room with a king bed.

Please see below our services that are offered in the Executive Lounge:

· The Lounge is open from 6:30am to 11:00am
· Continental Breakfast served between 6:30am-11:00am
· Non-alcoholic beverages & Snacks 12:00pm-5:00pm
· Hors d’oeuvres 5:00pm-7:00pm
· Honor Bar 5:00pm-10:00pm
· Wireless high-speed internet access
· Complimentary bottled water
· Check in and checkout capability
· Private Concierge
· Upgraded newspaper selections

Again, we extend a warm welcome from all of us at the Hilton Orlando. If there is anything we can do for you prior to your stay please feel free to contact us at 407-313-8843 or you can email us by “replying to all.”

Thank you and we look forward to your visit.


Maria Isabel Cisneros / Executive Lounge Agent • Hilton Orlando

Isn't that glorious? She had my reservation in there and everything. I'm sure this is mostly computer generated but that doesn't seem to bother me that much. I enjoyed the personal touch.

So, when I arrived at the Hilton Hotel, I handed my scepter, crown, and the Sword of Infinite Explosions (which was bestowed upon me by the gods once I achieved Gold Status with Hilton) to the concierge and took the elevator up to the executive lounge.

The strange thing about trying to check in to your room at the executive lounge instead of the lobby is that you need a key to get into the lounge itself. So... it was a little awkward knocking on the door requesting access so that I may check in.

Once checked in, I went to my room on the 14th floor and marveled at its relative niceness. It was clean, very modern, and high up. I had an excellent view of the rolling majestic mountains of central Florida, and the resort style swimming area. Honestly, it was perfectly amenable; HDTV, nice expensive restaurants with room service, clean clean clean bathroom, plenty of towels, king bed, a pull out rolly desk to double the working space, a chair, free internet for Gold members, some other fomites...

I recommend. The downside? Room upgrades, instead of being free like they are at every other Hilton I've been to for VIP Gold, were $30 here. Perhaps it was because the place was so resorty, I can't say. I didn't get free breakfast coupons like I do at some other Hiltons, and the breakfast was expensive... but delicious. There was plenty of paid, guest parking, and lots of restaurants in the area. The lobby restaurants were both booked completely up the last night I was there so I was forced to order room service. I was pretty angry about that, slaying indigents with my Sword of Explosions while I huffed and puffed back to my room. The executive lounge was excellent. They had a full honor bar, and free snacks all day. I enjoyed using the fountain machine to make myself glasses of sparkling water with a dash of Vodka, and dishonorably enjoying them without reporting to the hotel that I did so, so they could charge me for it. JUST KIDDING. I didn't do that. I just had sparkling water without Vodka. Who puts Vodka in sparkling water anyways? The dirty Norse... that's who.


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