Wednesday, November 17, 2010

400 miles away


On Tuesday I flew to Salt Lake City via Chicago (where I had a pleasant walk from Terminal B to a Terminal B at a different airport in China to get to my connecting flight). The first flight was from LaGuardia where almost all expense is spared. That airport is dumpier than your grandmother's tool shed, which she doesn't actively take care of because she is old and she also forgot where it was (its in her backyard). The gate I was at had no monitor so I didn't know if I was first in line for an upgrade or last. The gate announcer did say that there was room for one upgrade and that R. Maroni would mostly likely get that upgrade. Screw R. Maroni, I want the upgrade goddammit.

Well, I didn't get it. The first class cabin on the plane to Chicago only had 8 seats in total. I suppose it was a bit of a long shot. When I got to the terminal in Chicago for my flight to Salt Lake City, I saw on the monitor that I was second in line for an upgrade, but that there was only one first class seat remaining. So, there was no glory for me there either. But this flight was on one of those small CRJ Canadair jets, so the first class was really just the same as an economy seat plus 3 Angstroms of additional width. I thought it was odd that we spent 3 and a half hours in a plane so small that I couldn't ever dream of being able to use the bathroom (I wouldn't fit).

But I thought I was free when I landed. I thought I had surpassed the 50,000 elite qualifying mile mark with the last leg of my journey. I thought that I was no longer a Premier member, but a Premier Executive member, and would be granted all the privileges therein.

The next day I went on the interspacenet and checked out my status on United's website. It still said I was a premier member! What the hell!? Well, upon close inspection I realized I was a tremendously distant 400 miles away from the 50,000 mile mark. SON OF A TUBE. This means that I will still technically be a Premier member on my flight back, which means less of a chance of being upgraded. FLIBBITYFLAGNAMMIT™.

Well... at least I'll be Premier Executive for my next flight... ::sigh::

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