Friday, October 8, 2010

Friday Flight Memories: Episode 2

Today is Friday, and that means two things.

1) Its time to dance like it was 1993
2) Tomorrow I have to remember to DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING or NOTHINGLUTELY™

Friday flight memories are an attempt to remind you all that flying in the 90's used to be something completely different. This week's episode; my first trip to Hong Kong!

The year was 1839 and I was the emperor of the Qing Dynasty. British was all up in my business wanting me to import opium, but I was like, "No way, I don't want that in my lands assface!" and the British were like "we declare the first opium war upon you". And I was all, "what do you mean the first... AHHHHHGHGH" I was stabbed in 1841. My ghost then decided to capitulate Hong Kong to the British, with the agreement that they would give it back in 1997.

Fast forward to the year 1993. I am 10 years old. My mom decides to take my brother and I on a wild tour of China, and to see Hong Kong before it was to be returned to the Chinese. This was my family's thing. Travel! Normally, we only could afford to fly coach, bur for some reason, United was having a sale on Business class tickets to Hong Kong, so we took it.

This is what this post is about. My first time in Business class. Unfortunately, I don't remember every detail, seeing as how I was 10 years old, but here is what I do remember.

It being 1993, everything was paved with some kind of platinum coated gold, which made boarding the plane a lot of fun. After sliding around on the jetway for 20 minutes, we arrived at our seats. My brother and I took the two seats on the right side of the plane, and I think my mom took one on the left. Needless to say, the seats were ridiculously spacious, especially for an 8 and 10 year old. I, for some reason, frequently felt the need to get up and look at the people behind me. I did this three, or four times until the man sitting behind me said "Is there a problem?".

No, idiot. There isn't a problem. I am a ten year old kid, what do you think I was doing? Were you threatened by me? If so... awesome.

I remember the flight was 13 hours and 33 minutes and that the sun never set since we were traveling west the whole time. Since there was no such thing as an mp3 player, and I think portable CD players weren't even available yet, the only forms of entertainment we had were what crappy movie was playing on the movie projector or the radio built into the arm rest. I remember trying to find a station that I liked and I ended up listening to, what was then, modern electronic music. Something very similar to Pure Moods volume 1.

I remember falling asleep at some point after dinner, and being woken up by breakfast. Of course, as a kid, this flight felt like it was 2342987 years long. I remember being upset that after breakfast, we still had many hours left. There really wasn't much to do to entertain ourselves, so my brother and I resorted to ninja fighting in the galley again. I know for a fact that the business men traveling to Hong Kong were thrilled to be able to have an incredibly rowdy couple of kids hanging out in their elite cabin. The stewardess then asked us if we could take our incredibly entertaining and eloquent martial arts back to our seats for now, and only resume once we had arrived in Hong Kong... which WE DID IN INCREDIBLE SPADES... INCREDI-SPADES™!

The rest of the vacation was fabulous. And the funny thing is, I can't remember the flight back. So I guess I still live in Hong Kong.


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