Wednesday, September 8, 2010

My internet is dripping with gold

It is kind of hard to use the intercyberwebnetspace™ when there is gold everywhere inside of it. I tried to click on a Google link of some kind and there was this gold earring in the way... priceless gold earring, worth... so many prices.... and I had to melt it with my heat vision so I could resume using the internet. Why is my internet so filled with precious rare metals? Because I've spent tens of thousands of dollars of my company's moneydollars on Hilton.

Behold, the power of VIP Gold.

So here is an image of a reservation I made for a Hilton hotel in Los Angeles for next week. I removed the name of the hotel and my hilton honors number so that internet weirdos can't steal my identity and enjoy my gold benefits.

I am sorry the image is so small, you have to be a diamond VIP internet elite user to get larger images apparently. Notice the room upgrade button? I clicked THE HELL out of that button. I clicked it so hard I temporarily broke the internet. After it was repaired by future robots, I got this message.

Awesome. So, if I arrive there and there is an open executive floor room, I get it. I've posted about the executive rooms before. They're... to say the most... slightly better than regular rooms, and come with access to the executive lounge. Now, the interesting thing is that only Hilton hotels have these executive rooms. Other hotels, owned by Hilton, such as the Hampton Inn and Embassy Suites have other categories of rooms. Hopefully, I will find out what upgrading is like at those hotels as well. But I can't help feel inclined to almost go out of my way to stay at an actual Hilton branded hotel so that I can be sure of a chance at an upgrade .

Now considering the price of this hotel, which is $1,000,000,000 per night, I'm expecting a very nice executive room. You have to be careful about Hilton rates, they have overcharged me in the past. If I am overcharged and not given a nice room, I will be forced to execute a well-placed straight hand strike to the necks of those in my way of glory... namely, people behind counters.


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