Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Luck 'O the Jewrish



As I stated HILARIOUSLY in the previous post, I'm flying back to Denver next week. I booked the flight a while ago, but only recently discovered that my wife has next week off. So we thought, why not fly together and have a mini-vacation. Well... a vacation for her, regular work for me. Fortunately we will be staying at the VERY LUXURIOUS Hampton Inn. I've stayed there before, but I've heard that they have remodeled since my last visit last month. Now, they have aluminum plated brass knobs, carpet plated carpets, ceilings, a pool that features water, and towels.

DIGRESS

GOD I love hotel towels. Man, there are just so freaking many of them. One for my face, one for my glorious beard, one for each finger on my left hand, and (for some reason) two for my entire right hand, a larger one for my biceps, half of one towel for my wife....

I wish I had this many different sized towels at home, and someone who would sneak in every day while I was gone and clean everything. Shit, I would even consider paying for that service. Too bad its impossible according to the laws of physics, chemistry, emotion, and gravity.

/DIGRESS

Well, I wanted to book my wife on the same flight, in a seat next to me. So I went into the internetspacecyberweb and browsed to United's website. The price of a ticket was a little over $400. EXCEPTIONALLY NOT INTERESTED. So I bought her ticket with 50,000 miles. I had 75,000...so...if I do my calculations correct, I should have..... [carry the 1].....10 BILLION miles left. Yes... that's what I expect when I subtract numbers from larger numbers, fuck whatever you expect.

The problem, of course, is that I couldn't get her seats in Economy Plus. She doesn't have the incredibly amazing Premier Elite status that I have. If I had booked the tickets at the same time, it wouldn't have been a problem since she would have been considered my companion.

Well, I picked up my telephonic two-way communication device and dialed the 1-800 number and guess what... they helped me out! They put her in Economy Plus for free, no questions, no issues, no dragons (you'd think dragons would be uncommon in a conversation to another person over the telephone, but you'd be surprised what is hiding in those telephones).

So 9 cheers for United for being helpful, understanding, and kind.

Hip hip... hurray
times 9

Enjoy.

P.S. - I don't think we can both get upgraded to First Class. If I do get an upgrade, and my wife doesn't, my plan is to just very kindly punch the gate agent in the face until we are both giving First Class tickets. Do you support this? The answer is ULTRA-YES™

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