Tuesday, June 1, 2010

My Honeymoon

Thats right... I got married. You can send expensive gifts to;

Me
132 Aaron St.
Apt. *$#
New York, KY
China

Thats my real address.

For my honeymoon, I got lazy. Normally I reprogram the internet in order to book travel arrangements, because I prefer a manual transmission to an automatic. But this time, I just did it all through an all-inclusive resort.

As a result, I got US Airways First Class tickets. This is the first time I actually bought First Class tickets. I can't remember exactly how much they were, but they had a deal where I got two tickets for the price of two tickets. Actually, thats just a hilarious joke. I did indeed get my companion ticket free.


(my wife and I on the plane)

I don't know if you know this, but I love the bananas out of First Class. I enjoy sitting there sipping on some orange juice with copious amounts of vodka in it while normal people shuffle past me to be stowed in their "seats". It was nice to sit with my wife and enjoy the luxury of two sequential hour long flights in the crappiest First Class cabin I've ever seen.

The seats were the standard 1.5x economy width. And the drinks were free. But not much else. Granted, the flight was faster than a Kenyan running in some kind of running competition, but it was technically an international flight. Well, the second flight was, we had to make a connection in NC. But that flight was going on to Cancun! That is far away the way the crow flies. Exactly.

All 4 planes we rode for the round trip were, I estimate, built in the mid nineties. They have those verizon telephone handsets in the middle, with a little "call incoming light".

I'm sorry, but what idiot would actually receive a telephone call on an airplane that was designed to fly 3 miles. What is the phone number? Is it 1-800-USairwaysflight1607may15th2010seat2a ? Wouldn't you first have to call someone else, and inform them that you are reachable on the airplane, and give them your phone number? Then......... would they call you back? Seriously? They couldn't talk when you made that initial telephone call?

I was underwhelmed. I've flown in some fancy business class cabins before, and this was not worth the money. Usually, they bring out a wonderful meal for your to eat in your mouth... but no, not on these two flights... we got our choice out of a snack basket. They also usually have a better entertainment scenario. These airplanes was built before entertainment was invented.

My advice to you... if you're flying for a vacation in First Class or Business Class, try to make the destination far away, so that the flight is longer and the chances of actual luxury are increased slightly.

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